Thu Oct 16 13:40:09 1997 - Message No. 1559
From: "ynotfix"

Subject: english vs. EC/EU


For fun:

>The European Commission have just announced 
an agreement whereby English will be the official 
language of the EU rather than German, which
was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations,
 Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
 spelling had some room for improvement and has 
accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known 
as "EuroEnglish": In the first year, "s" will replace
 the soft "c"..
 Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump 
with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of 
the "k". This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be 
growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
 when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with
the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20%
 shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of 
the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the
 stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkorage the removal
 of double letters, which have always ben a 
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that 
the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language 
is disgraceful, and they should go away.
 By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
 such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
 During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be
 dropd from vords kontaiining "ou" and similar 
changes vul kors be aplid to ozer kombinations 
of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli 
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or 
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech ozer.
>      ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
> 
>
Thought you Euro guys would like this one!
 ...................                                                       
                                                   
Tony Angco   

Triumph Trophy 1200, & Trident 900
BMW K100RS, Honda XLV750R
There's a fine line between fishing and 
just standing on the shore like an idiot.....
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-


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dipper@normans.isd.uni-stuttgart.de